I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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