areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
