if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
