I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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