"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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