he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
