Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
