this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
