I will die if light touches me.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
