its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize