I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
