why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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