It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
