guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
