Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
