No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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