I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
