for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
