You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
