dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
