I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
