he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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