just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so let's talk penis.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
