No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
