They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
