What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
this will be a night to untag.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
