I got her a Nickelback box set.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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