She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she looked like the before picture.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
