Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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