So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
