She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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