why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize