sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The air was thick with penises
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
