I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
