Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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