Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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