Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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