Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
