theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
