The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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