need another drink. this is the easiest way
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
