Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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