So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
