No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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