I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
