I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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