You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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