Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
A+ Viking dick
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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