When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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