Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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