dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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