Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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