I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
