Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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