11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
