the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
