remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
