Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
