my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just cropdusted the office
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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