Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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