i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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