I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
