Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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