She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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